Transfer over, Hallmark; Netflix is getting festive.
Whereas Hallmark’s cable channel used to have the market cornered on Christmas-themed romance, the previous few years has seen Netflix double down on mirth and merry. Some seasonal choices new to the streamer this 12 months embody Sizzling Frosty, The Merry Gents and Our Little Secret.
So which of those, if any, are price watching when you sip your eggnog? We checked out all three to seek out out whether or not they’re naughty or good.
The Merry Gents
A weird mixture of healthful and steamy, The Merry Gents follows the Hallmark vacation film playbook to the purpose of parody. The story begins with Britt Robertson as Ashley, a Broadway star shocked to seek out herself getting older out of her place within the beloved Jingle Bells Broadway refrain line. The one upside is she lastly has time to go house to Sycamore Creek for the vacations.
Ashley arrives within the small city to discover her mother and father attempting to maintain The Rhythm Room — the neighbourhood watering gap and once-legendary music spot — from closing. Their landlord is drowning in debt and threatening to interchange the tavern with a (gasp) juice bar. In a logic-defying flip, Ashley decides the one strategy to deliver again the crowds and income is by turning the bar right into a male strip membership. However the place to seek out dancers?
Thankfully, Ashley actually bumps into Luke — the requisite hunky handyman — on the best way into the bar.
Chad Michael Murray brings John Schneider vibes to the celebration because the all-too-easy-going contractor who goes from fixing leaky taps to dancing in a efficiency that appears like Stomp with additional sleigh bells. Becoming a member of him on stage are Troy, the tasteless bartender with abs aplenty, Rodger who’s Ashley’s sister’s husband, a random cab driver who likes to bust a transfer and Danny, who’s whole persona is simply: barfly in a porkpie hat. I do not assume these Dollarama dancers might be giving Magic Mike a run for his cash anytime quickly.
At this level, it might be germane to level out co-writers Jeffery Schenck and Peter Sullivan are Hallmark veterans, which can clarify why Luke calls Ashley “metropolis lady” and why the story shows a surprising lack of self-awareness. For a movie made in 2024, The Merry Gents treats shirtless males grinding to EDM remixes of The Nutcracker Suite as the peak of erotic leisure. Whereas the 2 leads handle to generate some sparks, the manufactured last-minute disaster feels as synthetic because the faux snow that traces the streets of Sycamore Creek.
Ranking: 2.5/5 sweet canes
Our Little Secret
The Lindsay Lohanaissance continues with this holiday-themed story of a former couple pressured to cover their historical past. Lohan performs Avery, who was as soon as associates with after which romantically intertwined to Logan (Ian Harding). After an unsuccessful and humiliating proposal and their inevitable break-up, a montage whisks us by means of a decade of worldwide occasions which bizarrely manages to squeeze in plugs for not one, however three separate Netflix reveals.
In current day, Logan and Avery stumble upon one another at a household gathering the place their be taught their respective companions are brother and sister. Cue the shenanigans because the frenemies attempt to cowl up their previous.
Our Little Secret has a pair hindrances, the primary being the weak premise the place Avery determined to disclaim her connection to Logan for concern of upsetting her boyfriend’s judgmental mom (performed by Kristin Chenoweth, who’s expertise is wasted right here). Such a premise depends upon there being some type of residual romantic connection for Lohan and Harding to play up. However this couple is extra passive aggressive than passionate. Superficially, Harding could have a type of Adam Brody-adjacent enchantment, however all he is serving is smug and sulky.
Along with the anemic attraction, Our Little Secret revolves round Logan having to submit a enterprise proposal that is due on Christmas Eve, one other manufactured plot level. Whereas I will give Canadian screenwriter Hailey DeDominicis credit score for elevating the stakes with the absurd however entertaining Christmas climax, Our Little Secret belongs on the naughty record for romantic spice that is about as attractive as previous fruitcake.
Ranking: 2/5 sweet canes
Sizzling Frosty
Within the small city (is there every other form?) of Sizzling Springs, we discover native restaurateur Kathy, performed by Hallmark film queen Lacey Chabert, who runs the native diner and but has time sufficient to drop of sandwiches to all of the neighbours. Kathy can also be a widow, and her home has been falling aside ever since her husband died.
However every thing modifications one evening when Kathy locations a particular scarf on a very buff-looking snowman and Jack the snowbro (performed by Schitt’s Creek common Dustin Milligan) springs to life. First showing bare with a strategically positioned scarf, Jack is quickly creating all types of chaos. Previous individuals fall over within the snow! A window is smashed! A jumpsuit is taken!
Sizzling on the path of this not-so-abominable snowman are Craig Robinson as Sheriff Hunter and Joe Lo Truglio as his deputy, Schatz. Robinson and Truglio, who it’s possible you’ll bear in mind from Sizzling Tub Time Machine and Brooklyn 9-9, respectively, are a very good match, with the dimwit deputy amiably serving to Jack whereas Sheriff Hunter pledges to finish the crime spree.
Now let’s be clear: the idea of a human snowman, who’s been alive for perhaps per week, is ridiculous. This can be a rom-com a few man nonetheless studying to placed on garments, who eats ice to remain cool and who realized every thing about humanity from watching a couple of hours of tv. And the result’s a personality who’s a bit of little bit of Pinocchio and a bit of little bit of Encino Man.
What retains the movie from melting into pure mush is the endearingly goofy tone and willingness of the forged to embrace it. Milligan offers us a pleasant doofus who charms along with his earnestness. There’s not many actors who can promote a line like “What’s most cancers?” however Milligin strikes the steadiness between himbo and heartwarming. However the movie’s basis is Chabert as Kathy, smiling by means of the chaos with a screwball sense of caprice.
Ranking: 3.5/5 sweet canes
On the subject of Netflix’s Christmas-themed romantic comedies, CBC’s Eli Glasner says you may forgive a ridiculous premise, like Sizzling Frosty (3.5 stars/5), however an excessive lack of chemistry, as in Our Little Secret (2 stars/5), will land you on the naughty record.
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